Success and failure. These are really 2 sides of the same coin. Sure, one sucks and the other feels amazing, but at the top of success you know there’s going to be the slump afterwards as you come down from the high. Trying to hold on to the perfection of victory before trying your hand at the next task or challenge. It’s bearable because you did it, you had success. It’s easier to try the next thing.
Even failure isn’t that bad, there’s no place to go but up. The feeling of being the underdog, to rise from the ashes. To touch the bottom and surrender, allow yourself to be taken. Humility and letting go is painful, but you’re no longer struggling in the same way you were. Maybe you gain a different outlook, receive help you weren’t expecting or able to notice before. You gave it all you had and for that you can be proud.
To me, the thing that’s more terrifying than either of these is mediocrity. To be stuck between somewhere and somewhere, and not actually know whether you’re headed towards success of failure. To be walking the razor’s edge. Not sure you can trust yourself that you’ve been bold enough, authentic enough, or maybe you’re just not good enough to be better. Mediocrity can be filled with so many more doubts, micro aggression, self animosities, false hopes, self censorship, and frustrations. You don’t want to fail so you push forward when what you needed was time. You want to succeed so you hold back your authenticity for more approval.
Does it serve you to be anything other than yourself? To be willing to remove the lens of success, failure, and mediocrity and see yourself as a human-being. One who is willing to go on the journey of self experience whose victory is unmeasured by time or space. Your caliber is in your character not in your earning.