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I recognize that my perfectionism is just a means to control my feelings. I want to feel good, so I want things to be a certain way because I think that will lead to me feeling the way I want. Ive trained myself to manufacture circumstances to reliably protect my feelings.

Except, even if everything goes as perfectly as I desire, sometimes I still don’t feel good. Sometimes things go completely contrary to my perfectionary standards, and somehow I still feel great.

Everyone’s just trying to feel good, and that comes across in so many different ways. Underneath it’s really just the desire for love.

Sometimes we settle for pretty shitty love. Quick fixes. We ache for deep love. Lost, or not yet found, battle our ideas of what love is or isn’t, cling to the love we’ve found, or even just sit in the pain of not knowing how to receive the love that’s there.

We’re so complicated. There’s really no perfect love, or perfect feeling. There’s so many different flavors. Does love always have to equate with good?

Can you learn to recognize everything as love? Sometimes coming through crystal clear. Sometimes muffled by pain or fear. Sometimes cautious, tender, fleeting, unstable, loyal, guarded, or fierce. But it’s all love. Sometimes just recognizing love to be the thing we’re all after can help us to understand each other better. We can’t control the way we feel, but learn to accept all our feelings as teaching us where love is.